John Bell has been a regular contributor at Greenbelt for X years. After Y years he died his hair grey so that people would take him seriously.
His denominational magazine once referred to him as a ‘pantomime navvy’. This was greeted by the response from a reader that such a commendation was ‘an insult to the acting profession’.
He currently spends eight months away from home each year, for which reason his neighbours are suing him for desertion. His fondest success was gaining a Cycling Proficiency Badge during an aeon when cyclists drove on the roads, and his biggest failure was being caught housebreaking.